It’s been very hot in my space. The Voice has been complaining. It said something about a haircut and a hairdresser, and wants to tell you a story. I like stories.
Us Brits love to talk about the weather and right now we are having a mini heat-wave! In some places it’s reached up to 31C, that’s 88F. I know, if you live somewhere tropical it’s not all that hot but give us a break, we’re British, we’re used to the rain!
Not that I’m complaining, the sunshine is wonderful, cheers the heart but the heat, well that’s a different matter. So what’s all this got to do with my hairdresser?
Well let me give you a little equation:
Five months pregnant + 31C heat + thick, waist-length hair = Grumpathon.
Eventual outcome = Epic Haircut
So here’s how to traumatise your hairdresser in four easy steps*.
- Walk into hairdressers and ask for a re-style.
- Allow them to admire your long silky, wavy locks.
- Retrieve a picture from your handbag, of a bob cut, like the one below.
- Now ask them to give you that cut.
Sit back and watch. The conversation went something like this:
‘I love long hair, your hair is beautiful.’
‘So what would you like today.’
‘Well, I’d like a re-style. You see I’m five months pregnant and because my hair is so thick and growing so much, I can’t cope with the heat. It’s doing my nut.’
‘OK. So how much do you want off.’
‘I was thinking something like this.’ (retrieve photo)
‘Really? Are you sure.’ Hairdresser looks pained and strokes the abundant, long hair.
*Silence* hairdresser turns to colleague.
‘Can I ask your advice?’
After some more ‘are you sures’ and a promise not to sue, the scissors come out.
Now, I’m the first to admit that I’m never going to look like Dianna Agron but two hours later I have the lovely light, cool bob that as my friend put it, is the standard uniform of the yummy mummy!
I love it!
In conclusion, dear hairdresser, thank you very much, it’s wonderful and I apologise for any distress I may have caused.
*You traumatise your hairdresser at your own risk, the Voice cannot be responsible for what happens if you do.